This paragraph, from an essay by David Carr about Philip Seymour Hoffman, rings so true:

Chemical dependency does not change — have one and you might die — and recovery does not change — have none and you might live. Addicts live between those two poles, but the hole that they once tried to fill with chemicals always remains, pushed back on a daily basis. Addiction, whether you believe it is a disease or not, is a pirate, constantly on patrol and looking for a weakness so it can climb aboard.

Every word, every interruption of every sentence conveys a step: we fall; we get up. We do this sometimes more times than we can count. We fight, sometimes with grace but most often we are desperate and scared. Sometimes we are successful. Sometimes not. Most often, i think, it’s both success and failure, healing and wounding battling it all out in this body or in that.